|
UNDERPANTS ATTACK
Q What is the similarity between a Jew and a sperm?
A They both have a one in a million chance of becoming human!
Er, No.
Q What is the similarity between a black and a sperm?
A They both have a one in a million chance of becoming human!
Er, No.
Q What is the similarity between a man and a sperm?
A They both have a one in a million chance of becoming human!
Yep.
That's just fine.
Well, AH's good friend, MJ, saw the last version
of this joke in a newspaper.
And he was none too pleased.
So, he complained, by email, and pointed out that when jokes which
demean a
particular group are, seemingly, the ONLY acceptable derogatory jokes, then the
one-sided, cumulative effects are destructive and offensive to the group that is
the target of those jokes - and, further, that persisting with such a state of affairs might
well bring about some kind of retaliation!
And here was the reply from the offending
publisher.
Dear Mr J
Thank you for your e-mail. I'm sorry that the Bloke Joke upset you - it is
certainly not the intention of either the EDP itself or the Saturday Magazine to
cause offence.
When Saturday Comes is a light-hearted feature designed to raise a smile
on a Saturday morning but we obviously failed to be diligent enough in the
selection of last week's joke.
Peter Waters
A trivial affair, one might suspect.
Wrong.
If nothing else, Peter Waters now has the issue raised in his mind, and,
given his position - together with the fact that he is a man - he might also
spread, overtly or covertly, to his colleagues and to his friends, the message
that it is time to stop treating the male gender with such disregard and
contempt.
At the very least, he might well be less
inclined to publish such things.
And all MJ did was to send ONE email.
Activists take note!
from MJ to AH:
Yes indeed. It is that easy. Just one email! But sadly
there is not a lot to back it up. Now, if there was a mass men's movement who
were involved in the kind of activities that the early wimmin's movements got up
to - like noisy embarrassing demonstrations, burning bras etc - then we would
make a great impact.
What's needed is a similar form of popular protest and civil disobedience -
like sending your underpants to offenders through the post perhaps?
Though good underpants, of course, are worth hanging on to!
Well, any ideas along these lines would help.
AH to MJ:
This is a brilliant idea!
Activists should hold on to their ragged threadbare undies and use them for
lobbying purposes when the appropriate situations arise.
Old socks, vests, jockstraps and posing pouches would also do the job!
Any man who is genuinely pissed off is actually going to feel
pretty GOOD about
sending - perhaps anonymously - an old pair of underpants - or socks.
Sending a new pair doesn't give him ANYWHERE NEAR the same satisfaction! And it
costs money.
Can you imagine the public farce if courts had to decide whether or not a particular set of underpants
was offensive or not?
I can see it now.
The judge takes away your children, SEND HIM YOUR UNDERPANTS. Let him take
those as well!
The magazine editor opts for publishing sexist misandric jokes, SEND HIM YOUR
UNDERPANTS. If he wants to take the mickey out of you, let him take your
underpants as well!
The politician argues for more sex-discriminatory corrupt
policies to disempower and disadvantage you, SEND HIM YOUR UNDERPANTS. If he wants to deprive you of
justice, let him deprive you of your underpants too.
The deceitful man-hating feminist who lies about you and demonises you, SEND
HER YOUR UNDERPANTS. If she wants to demean and degrade, you let her do so by
possessing your underpants too.
The Child-Support Agencies are unjustly demanding your money, SEND THEM YOUR
UNDERPANTS. If they want the shirt off your back, let them also auction
your underpants as part payment.
from JK to AH
re: MJ's suggestion and underpants
I'm gonna do it!
The anti-CSA group that I belonged to used to send really awkward bulky items
through the post. Telephone directories, catalogs, video boxes, newspapers.
Anything that would interfere with the smooth running of the office. Many
reports also showed that it was causing them real problems and taking them hours
to sort out. There was also a program on TV about it. It was costing them a
fortune.
My anti-CSA days are over but I get fed up with the constant bad mouthing of
men and everything male in the media, it makes me see red, and the next one that
catches my eye is going to be sent my old RED Y-fronts with the text below attached
with a safety pin.
Men are entitled to the same respect, justice and human rights that any
other group is. I hope my pants are an adequate metaphor for my disgust at your
offensive material.
From A MAN
AH to JK
Only one pair of old underpants JK?
I've got loads.
There's something about old underpants
that you don't want to let go of.
I'm not quite sure what it is about them.
I think that it is their warm familiarity.
I've got about 14 new pairs still in the
wrappers from when they were bought for me AGES ago. Christmas, birthdays,
Valentines Day, Christmas, birthdays, Valentines Day.
And some are Calvin Klein too!
They are all part of a conspiracy going on
among my alleged loved ones to change my dress code. But I refused to budge.
UNTIL NOW!
Because the wrappers are finally coming
off - and my old friendly boxer shorts shall become my new armory in the
fight against feminism.
No longer will I groan inwardly when more
new pairs of undergarments come my way. Henceforth, I shall view them in a new
AND WELCOME light ...
AS FUTURE AMMUNITION!
I am empowered!
I may even cut them in half when the time
for an offensive comes - and so
double their effectiveness, like a cluster bomb.
Go out and buy yourself some more new
underpants JK.
It is time for war.
|
