Calm Before The Storm
I have been far too busy during the past week to
wrap my head around the third part of my fabulous series - the one entitled by
MND's Mike Le Salle as "Gaea Theory".
(That poor man must be on some very serious medication!)
But yes, I have been engaging in what I call
'non-public' activism.
And, before you ask, I cannot bother to
explain the ins and outs of what I have been up to.
Arguing, basically.
Arguing, basically.
Being an activist on the internet is often
like sitting around in a bar where a group of twenty people are talking about
those very issues that automatically attract your interest, and that are also
likely to get your gander up.
Of course they are, or you wouldn't be there!
You wouldn't have sought out these people with the
search engines and your keyboard!
And quite often, you end up wanting to kill a
few of them.
Unsurprisingly.
......................................
There is a fly on the wall in Angry Harry's
household.
What will it hear? What will it see?
Sssshh! Listen carefully.
"Shall I lay the table, My Dearest?"
says Angry Harry.
"You are as thoughtful and as kind as
ever," says his missus, blowing him a kiss.
"Come along young ladies. Dinner is
ready!" he calls out to his sweet late-teened little girls.
"Hello Angry Harry," they chant
together.
Kiss. Kiss.
"Your mother has prepared a wonderful
dinner for us all," says Angry Harry. "Pray come. Let us eat together
and enjoy each other's most wholesome and welcoming company."
"Oh! Yes please! Angry Harry," they
chorus. "Mmm. It smells so delicious!"
"Your mother is the best cook in the
whole world," says Angry Harry. "There is no other woman like
her."
"Shall I pour you some wine, Dear?"
he continues, leaning over to rub his nose gently across her cheek, as her eyes
glisten warmly back toward him imbued with the excited anticipation of shortly
being wrapped up most cosily with him in front of the crackling log fire.
And as the fly on the wall looks down upon
this happy scene, it will hear only the sound of merriment and see only the joy of
laughter.
And it is in this manner that these cheerful
diners will chat away together for an hour or so as they relish and devour every
morsel of food that is so lovingly put upon their plates.
"That was a truly wonderful meal,"
says Angry Harry at last.
"It always is," the girls chime.
"Well, off you go now Girls. Your mother
and I will do the washing up," says Angry Harry.
"Your work is far too important to waste your
most precious time in washing dishes.
"On no, Dear," says his missus, as
the girls kiss her on the cheek and skip friskily out of the door. "Your
work is far too important to waste your most precious time in washing dishes. The planet needs you! Leave it to me. I will do
the washing up and bring you a lovely cup of tea."
"Are you sure, My Dearest?" says
Angry Harry.
"Of course, Dear. Now off you go, and see
if you have any emails."
Angry Harry takes her in his arms. Their eyes
meet. Their lips part. They embrace each other hotly with their mouths hungrily
tasting the moistness of each other's passion.
"Off you go," she whispers.
Angry Harry smiles, and reluctantly withdraws.
"I shall see you shortly," he
winks naughtily.
He picks up the newspaper and strolls into the
lounge.
The fly follows him.
The youngsters are playing some modern form of
music on the stereo system.
Angry Harry smiles adoringly at them as he
takes his seat in front of the computer.
"Such lovely girls," he thinks.
"Hmm. Let's see now. Here's an email from
Ronn."
Click.
"Blah blah blah ... A man in Nevada was
today given a very lenient six month sentence in jail for picking his nose in a
public place when a female minor happened to be in the vicinity; a truly heinous
violation of the Men Must Not Pick Their Noses In A Public Place When ANY
Female Happens To Be In The Vicinity Act of 2007...
... Nah! ..."
Click. Click. Click.
"Hmm. Here's another one from Ronn."
Click. .
"Blah blah blah ... A woman in Nevada was
today fined twenty dollars for killing her husband with 128 stabs to the chest. She
claimed to the jury that she had stabbed him by accident as the carving knife
had slipped out
of her
hand while she was looking for a huge gun that she had recently purchased.
The jury found her innocent of all charges, and suggested that she should be awarded a
medal for bravery because her now-deceased husband might well have abused her
one day. ... ... ..."
Silence.
More silence.
"Nah!"
Click. Click. Click.
"Here is your tea, My Dearest," his
missus says, as she glides sexily into the room.
"Thank you my Honey Bundle," Angry
Harry beams back at her. Just put it here. I won't be long now."
"Hmm. An email from Wayne!"
Click.
"Blah blah blah ... A man who was working
four different jobs - full time - in order to pay his child support
money was jailed for eight years yesterday without the possibility of parole for being a dollar short in the $50,000 that he owed. The judge
said that this was one of the most egregious acts of domestic violence that he
had ever had the misfortune to witness."
Silence.
" ... ... rrrgh ... ... .... grrrrgh. ...
... ... Yep! ... Good enough!"
Click. Click. Click.
Click. Click. Click.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
rrrgh
"Girls. Can you turn the music down just
a teensy bit? Thank you."
Click. Click. Click.
'Your website stinks."
"Hmm. Fiona1298? Hmm. Never heard of her.
Subject: 'Your website stinks."
Click.
"This is the most offensive sickly
misogynistic website that
..."
Click. Click. Click.
"Bloody idiot women! Hey girls. Could you
turn that music down a bit more?"
Angry Harry reaches for his tea.
"You didn't put much milk in this,"
he says to his missus, who is now ensconced most restfully upon the sofa.
"Sorry Dear. Shall I put some more milk
into it?"
"No. No. No. It's all right. It will have
to do," Angry
Harry replies. "And isn't it about time that you girls went off to bed? And
stopped playing that rubbish? It's
almost 8 o'clock!"
Click.
"Hmm. James. Ah yes, James. Where has
James been for the past few days?"
Click.
"Hi AH, Take a look at this article. It
looks as if we Aussies are going to get a new law that makes men guilty of
sexual assault if they speak above 2 decibels within the hearing of any female.
Or have I misunderstood the article?"
Click.
"Sydney Morning Herald. A new law will
make it an offence for any male whose voice has broken to speak with a level of
sound above 2 decibels within the hearing of any female. The offence will be
listed under the Rape Act of 2003, and it is based upon the fact that a woman's ears
are extremely sensitive to any suggestive sexual penetration. And so if a man's voice is
louder than 2 decibels then his inherent masculine vocal tones are forced into
the ears of the
victim in just the same way as if a vicious rapist had attacked her in the dead
of night.
"Aliz Nauze, the president of Australia's Rape Crisis Centre, said, 'When a man forces
himself upon a woman even without any physical form of contact, this does not
mean that he did not rape her. There are many different types of rape. And they
are all violent. If a man forces himself upon a woman's ears through his vocal organs, then
this is rape. Violent rape.'"
Grrrr!
rrrrrrrrgh.
Arghhh!
Click.
"Hi James. Yep. I think you might be
right! From now on, don't speak too loudly. That would be my advice. Thank you!"
Click. Click. Click.
"Are you nearly finished Darling?"
"I said I'd be finished in a minute,
didn't I?"
Click. Click. Click.
Click. Click. Click.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap.
Tap!!
Click
"Hmm. Lindsay. Another Aussie."
Click.
"Blah blah blah ... Australian school
girls are to receive a special series of educational and training lessons about boys ...
"Do you mind if I put on the TV?"
says his missus.
"What? Yes. Yes. If you must. But have you
got nothing better to do? Yes. Yes. Yes.
Put it on. But leave the volume low. I'm trying to
concentrate!"
"Australian school girls are to receive a
special series of educational and training lessons about boys. The series is entitled, 'Are
there any PARASITES that look like boys walking among us?'. ... ... Female schoolchildren from the
age of two will be expected to attend this series of lessons, and a new
mandatory exam for
16 year olds based upon issues pertaining to the 'parasitic nature of males' is
currently being developed by Professor Steve Jones and his team."
Stunned silence.
Stunned silence.
Silence.
Click.
Silence.
The fly on the wall sees the door opening
quietly. Some dainty female feet tip-toe gently through it.
It is the girls.
"Erm. We .. er .. We .. er .. We are just
going to bed now Angry Harry. And we have just come down to say Goodnight to
you."
"Oh, for goodness sake! Will you
pleeeease f**k OFF! Can you not
see that I am working you selfish harlots? Are you completely blind or something? Oh no! Hold on!
Hold on a moment. Tell me. Did your teachers at school ever talk to you about 'Parasites', or
anything?"
"Er ... Er ... No. What do you
mean?"
"Oh nothing. Nothing at all. Just
'parasites'. And stuff like that."
"No Angry Harry. I have never even heard of
them. What are parasites?" says the younger one.
"Duh!" says the older one.
"They are those long frozen pointy things that hang from ceilings and drip
on to the floor. Silly Girl. Aren't they Angry Harry?"
"Er. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what they are. OK.
Very good. Now will you pleeeease go away. Go to bed or something."
The door closes quietly.
"Bloody. Bloody. Women!"
"What's that, Dear?" comes the voice
of his sleepy missus dozing on the sofa.
"Nothing," Angry Harry replies.
"Sorry? What did you say?"
"I said NOTHING! You deaf bitch! Why
can't you leave me alone?"
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Grrrrr!
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Urrrrgh. Urrrrgh.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Click. Click. Click.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap-tap ... ...
"Are you coming to bed yet Honey?"
... tap-tap
"WHAT!?"
... tap-tap-tap
"I said, Are you coming to bed yet? It's
already one o'clock."
"For goodness SAKE WOMAN!
Will you please shut up! Yap yap yap yap yap yap - all bloody
evening! You're giving me a BLOODY HEADACHE!"
Grrrrr!
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. ... ...
Click.
"Hmm. Email from Henry in Canada."
Click.
"Hi Harry, Have you seen what the feminutsies are up to over here?"
Click.
"Academics today urged the Canadian
government to legislate over the burgeoning mountain of criticism of women.
'Negative remarks about women should be prosecuted under hate crime
legislation," said the author of the new report from the Status of Women in
Canada.
"'Negative remarks are worse than rape; -
violent, sadistic, rape," she continued. "When a man comments
negatively about a woman and hurts her feelings then that is the same as brutal
anal rape," she said. "And any form of unwanted sexual innuendo is
worse than abuse of the most heinous kind. This is what our research has shown.
It is the equivalent of forced, oral, rape. And our survey therefore proves that
6 million women are being raped every single day in Canada. And we want our
politicians to reflect upon the fact that while they were eating their breakfasts
this morning, another 100,000 more women in our nation were pleading for their lives
... ..."
Click.
"Thanks Henry!"
Click.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. ... ...
Ah yes. That fly on the wall has seen and heard
it all!
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