Woman

(This article is supposed to be humorous!)

Which is worth more? - a woman's head, or a woman's vagina?

The answer might surprise you.

The 'Vagina Vote' John Kerry's old anti-war protest partner "Hanoi" Jane Fonda is coming to New York in the wake of the GOP convention as part of a get-out-the-vote rally she's calling "Vaginas Vote".

This seems to be a tacit admission by Jane Fonda that women are, fundamentally, vaginas - or, as some men like to put it, c##ts.

She seems to regard women as sex objects and baby bags.

And she might have a point!

After all, apart from their vaginas and their associated reproductive capacities (shortly to be replaced by various technologies) what can women do that men cannot do better?

Well, "Very little," is the correct answer. 

Indeed, what do most women nowadays offer men? - apart from aggravation?

Well, you could put the answer to this question on a postage stamp and still have enough room for people to comment.

In the olden days women used to possess certain qualities that, quite frankly, seem to have disappeared in recent times. But without these womanly qualities, what is the point of having women, eh?

Apart from a few things here and there, there is no job that men cannot do better than women. So, if women are giving up on their womanly qualities, then what, exactly, is the point of them?

Wherein lies the benefit?

To what little purpose will they owe their existence in the future?

In what way will their presence on the planet be of value to the Universe?

And, most importantly, why should men bother keeping them around?

Once again, a postage stamp will do.

Indeed, many feminists themselves clearly reckon that a woman's vagina is far more worthy of consideration than, say, her head.

After all, ...

The Vagina Monologues = The Talking Vaginas

Vagina Voters = Voting Vaginas

According to feminists, it is not women's heads that do the thinking - it is their juicy bits!

Women vote, talk and think with their vaginas!

And, of course, if, for example, a man whacks a woman over the head with a hammer and debilitates her for life, then she will not be allowed to remain anonymous, and the court proceedings will adopt normal due processes.

But if a man sticks his spongy dick or his little finger inside a woman's reproductive receptacle - which was, in fact, actually designed to accommodate such a thing without much duress - without irrefutable and clad-iron proof that it was actually invited therein, then menstrual wimmin's groups will become infused with hysteria and hatred, the tabloids will be up in arms, politicians will pontificate piously, and the justice system will employ thoroughly dishonourable and corrupt procedures in order to try to gain a conviction of some kind.

In other words, it seems as if people really do think that a woman's vagina is infinitely more important than her head - in fact, infinitely more important that anyone else's head.

What kind of sick value system is that?

Or is it the case that a woman's vagina really is more important than her head?

The evidence, thus far, suggests that this is so.

Mathematically speaking, ...

Woman's Vagina > Woman's Head

Furthermore, it seems these days that any woman who is incapable of leading a normal healthy life and/or who breaks the law in any way is deemed to have been abused sexually somewhere in her past.

In other words, her vagina rules her head.

You think I exaggerate, eh?

Then read the small text ...

"I know it has a really smart brain."

"I know it has a really smart brain."

(You really couldn't make this up, could you? LOL!)

And, apparently - or, rather, so we are led to believe -  women can fight effectively in the military, fly aeroplanes, run huge corporations, live to a ripe old age, undergo the most painful of child births, work all day long in factories, run hospital wards and ambulance services, rush home to do the housework and look after the children - even as single mothers - but fondle her sexual anatomy 'inappropriately' - no matter how delicately - and a woman is ruined for the rest of her life!

This is either complete and utter nonsense, or women are, indeed, precious little more than their vaginas.

And the evidence for this just keeps on mounting.

Oh Angry Harry. You exaggerate.

Women do not really see themselves as a bunch of wrinkly genitals.

Oh really? ...

... Be My Clitoris "The woman who ran the workshop told me my clitoris was not something I could lose. It was me, the essence of me. It was both the doorbell to my house and the house itself. I didn’t have to find it. I had to be it. Be it. Be my clitoris." Christina Hoff Sommers 

"My vagina is a shell, a tulip, and a destiny. I am arriving as I am beginning to leave. My vagina, my vagina, me."

... Yep: It sounds to me as if this is exactly what they do. Women nowadays clearly see themselves as little more than wrinkly genitals. Moist. Wrinkly. Genitals.

And, who knows, maybe they are right to do so.

Perhaps this really is - well and truly - all that there is to them!

Indeed, perhaps this is all that they have ever been!

Remember, those lofty and much-lauded genitals are not the doorway to the house; they are the frigging house!

"It was both the doorbell to my house and the house itself."

Is it surprising, therefore, that men often see them in exactly the same way?

Closer to the truth, however, is that vaginas are like gold mines. They can be psychologically tapped for an unending supply of valuable nuggets.

The abuse industry - which is vast in size - makes an absolute fortune by portraying the vagina as some kind of delicate flimsy organ that will disintegrate if anyone so much as looks at it without first obtaining a Holy Writ.

 In reality, however, the whole area surrounding this roomy sanctum is packed with enough muscle to vacuum a four-bedroom house while cracking walnuts.

And the fact that a man who, for example, sticks the most teensy part of his wee little finger in close proximity to a woman's vagina without an official invitation or a legal document often leads to all hell breaking loose and an official charge of 'rape' has much more to do with those in the abuse industry trying to make money than it has to do with anything else.

But, getting back to those moist vaginas, lest we forget about them - as if such a thing would be possible, given the never-ending public clamour over them - is it the case that a woman actually is her vagina or is it the case that a woman's vagina is more than the woman herself?

In other words, which equation is correct?

Vagina = Woman

or

Vagina > Woman

And, quite frankly, who gives a sh#t?

Not me. That's for sure.

Bush 'Rapes' All American Women A featured performer at a National Organization for Women rally accused President Bush of having "savagely raped " women "over and over" by allegedly stealing the 2000 presidential election. Marc Morano

Yep: even voting for a party of which the feminists disapprove is nowadays considered by them to be an act of rape.

These feminist vaginas are clearly very sorely troubled even by the electoral votes that people might cast; thus proving, somewhat, that Jane Fonda is quite right to say - at least of feminists - that it is their vaginas that they employ the most when it comes to 'thinking' about political matters.

(As if we didn't know).

And take look at this ...

The crowd carried signs reading, "Keep your politics out of my vagina."

Sheesh! What a nerve, eh? What utter hypocrisy!

These stupid spiteful wimmin collectively spend millions of hours every year doing exactly the very opposite. It is they, themselves, who are forever demanding that their vaginas remain at the top of everybody's political agenda.

If not, what the heck is "The VAGINA Monologues" all about then, eh?

What about the "VAGINA voters"?

Well. They are all about the politics surrounding vaginas!

That is what they are.

And this is not even to mention all those silly and pathetic T-shirts that female undergraduates are prone to wear when they are feeling 'political'..

"I Love My Vagina."

"My Vagina Is Me."

"Vagina Power."

"Keep Out Of My Vagina."

Oh yes; very political. Very astute. Such profundity.

It is almost unbelievable how naive and stupid these supposedly-educated women at college must be.

And if there are any young women reading this, take it from me, walking around proclaiming that you are your vagina looks just as lamentably puerile and immature as would be the case if young men pranced around with My Penis Is Me emblazoned across their chests.

Anyway.

There you have it.

The value of women lies mostly in their vaginas.

Nope. Sorry. I forgot. That was an understatement.

They actually are their vaginas.

Silly me.

"My vagina is a shell, a tulip, and a destiny. I am arriving as I am beginning to leave. My vagina, my vagina, me."

Feminist V-Day The idea is that if we can “reclaim” the word “vagina,” we can somehow find our inner power and use it to cure the ills of the world. I find no difficulty in saying “vagina.” I can say it till I’m blue in the face, but it yields little more than strange looks. Noel Stanger

My Vagina Is Flirty The week before V-Day, the Roger Williams campus was plastered with flyers emblazoned with slogans such as “My Vagina is Flirty” and “My Vagina is Huggable.” There was a widely publicized “orgasm workshop.” On the day of the play, the V-warriors sold lollipops in the in the shape of–-guess what? Last year, the student union was flooded with questionnaires asking unsuspecting students questions like “What does your Vagina smell like?” Christina Hoff Sommers

The campus conservatives artfully (in the college sense of "artful") mimicked the V-Day campaign. They papered the school with flyers that said, “My penis is majestic” and “My penis is hilarious.” The caption on one handout read, “My Penis is studious.”

Winner of the Angry Harry lookalike competition.

Also see,

If I Only Had A V

Some moving poetry. It'll have you in tears.